’Tis the season for traditions! This week, my family and I are putting up the Christmas tree, lighting Hanukkah candles, buying and wrapping presents, planning what cookies we are going to bake, driving around the neighborhood to look at holiday lights, sending and receiving holiday cards – carrying on years of holiday season traditions. This particular year, we are also acutely aware of the holiday traditions not to be – gathering with family and friends to share food and gifts and holiday cheer, visiting Santa, attending musical performances and our entire Christmas Eve experience of being at UUCF for the Christmas Pageant and candle-lighting and then going out to eat.
All of this (plus the reading I am doing for Advent and the fact that one of my children, when prompted to name the true meaning of this season said, “It’s Santa, of course!”) has got me thinking about how traditions come into being and how we keep them connected to the spirit from which they spring. How do I talk with my children about why we do what we do at this time of year? Is there a reason for the evergreen tree we carry into our house and decorate with lights and ornaments beyond the amazing smell it brings? What meaning do the Hanukkah candles have beyond the connection to the Jewish upbringing of their maternal grandfather? Why do we do all these things year after year?
It reminds me of the story of the woman who always cut off both ends of the ham before putting it into the oven. When someone asked her why, she realized she didn’t know, only that it was how she had been taught by her mother, who in turn had seen her own mother preparing the ham the same way. When they went back to the source and asked why the woman’s grandmother had done this, she told them it was simply because the pan had been too small for the piece of meat she had.
Similarly, as I grew up, we always had cocoa ripple ring coffee cake for Christmas breakfast. When the family I created was planning Christmas breakfast, I realized I didn’t know what was behind my family of origin’s tradition so I asked my parents. They told me there wasn’t really any meaning to it at all – it’s just that cocoa ripple ring was what we happened to have the year I was old enough to notice and remember what we ate and then insist on it for the following year. And then every year after. (And frankly, it still doesn’t feel quite like Christmas if we don’t have a cocoa ripple ring!)
Ideally, the traditions we follow at this time of year do have deeper meaning. Meaning that speaks not only to the passage of the years, but also to what is of value to us, what gives us strength and hope in difficult times, what connects us to each other and to that love that abides within and among us.
This year all of us, both individually and as a congregation, are having to alter many of our traditions, to reshape what it means to celebrate this holiday season. This is a source of loss and grief – separated from those we love, forced to give up so many things that bring us joy. But perhaps it is a time of opportunity as well. A time when we might strengthen the connections between our traditions and the meaning behind them.
Here at UUCF, the staff and others have been working hard to create and offer ways to honor and celebrate this season that are both safe and meaningful. In addition to the virtual advent calendar, we have already had a wonderful Zoom holiday sing-along led by Laura Weiss and her elves. The staff and Worship Committee have decorated the grounds and the entire community is welcome to contribute to the seasonal altar near the Sanctuary. There will be a Zoom Winter Solstice service on Fri., Dec. 18, at 7 p.m., and our annual Christmas Pageant will be on Sun., Dec. 20, at 10 a.m. Finally, this year we will have just one Christmas Eve service at 7:30 p.m., allowing the entire congregation to be together, “Silent Night” and candle-lighting included. We very much hope that these new and different traditions will be part of what brings meaning and connection to you during this time.
However you choose to and are able to celebrate over the next few weeks, both with the UUCF community and in other ways, I hope you are able to connect your traditions, new and old, to the deeper meaning of this time. Perhaps, even in the midst of our sense of loss at what cannot be, we might find inspiration and creativity and new ways to make the spirit of the season manifest in our lives.
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